TO BE OR NOT TO BE #2

Should I, or should I not?

Is what is bothering me.

It’s been bothering me to the point

where it is all I think about

I sleep to get away, and ease the pain

Daydream to no longer feel the way I feel

or think about the things I am forced to confront every day.

To get away is what I seek and I am most sure I am not alone.

The satisfaction of believing that maybe just one day

these dreams may one day come true

Is what keeps me returning to them

I guess what I am trying to say is that

I’d rather dream and be happy

Than to suffer dealing with what I do now.

There is more respect in remaining alive

and confronting these issues

Than to simply put an end to my life,

 like most cowards have done so in the past.

Our lives all have value

and we need to do what we know is right.

The simple fact that we don’t know

exactly what happens to us after death,

If anything happens to us,

keeps us alive and bearing our troubles.

I don’t want to die, you don’t want to die.

But we also don’t want to live these depressing lives.

But how exactly do we change that?

Although we may deny it, we all feel the same way.

We all have the same feelings and thoughts,

We all wonder why we’re here and determine

Exactly what keeps us moving forward

And I sure as hell would rather leave a mark on this planet,

than to leave nothing at all.

The meaning behind this is to teach us to go against the world to follow what we know to be right instead of following the current and adapting to society as another irrelevant human being without a brain. We do not want to be like those around us without a single thought to share with the rest of the world and just live isolated from the rest of us in their own world. We all tend to check out mentally, as Dr. Preston stated. Why? Because it is simply easier than actually doing what the authorities have established as the “right thing to do” and how to live our lives. Instead of all getting lost in our own minds and be completely oblivious to our surroundings, we should work together because as Benjamin Franklin once stated, “We either hang together, or hang separately.” If few all possess the same level of inquiry why not discuss these thoughts and change the world to the way we know it should have been a long time ago instead of continuing to live in one we dread today.

Just right now I awoke from about a two hour nap after having been dosed with medicine by my parents after refusing to take me to the doctor because they claim that, “I’m fine” when clearly I appear to be in the hands of death. But that is irrelevant to the point. The point I am trying to make is that after waking up, still feeling terribly ill (and not the good kind), I remembered my homework and thought “I do not want to do it.” Not because it is difficult or any unfeasible reason whatsoever because it’s not, but simply because I was not in the mood to work any harder than I normally would have to if I were not sick with a cold and Bronchitis and whatever else I have now. Then I thought, “Who is this jeopardizing?” Well, only myself. I remembered who I want to be and thought ‘the future/new me would not choose to take this route.” So I didn’t. I got my lazy butt off the couch and hoped on my laptop. I will not take the coward path, even if I feel like I am physically incapable of doing so. And tomorrow I will still go to school and do all the things I do on a daily basis knowing I will have to work ten times harder than yesterday. As a child I always remembered fighting for what I believed in, no matter how big the argument, I was never afraid. Again, I was younger so things were easier. Adults would laugh and simply give me what I wanted. But as I grew older, when I got to the point when people would actually fight back to me and attempt to impose their ignorant ways on me, things became more and more complicated. Fighting back to the authorities or to anyone who disagreed with me was much more difficult than I anticipated yet I never stopped caring so strongly in what I believed because I knew what I fought everyday would make an impact on the world in terms of human interactions and how to communicate with one another. And I will continue to do so, whether it is standing up against a racist remark made towards another peer or engage in civil disobedience to prove a point.